No, You're Drunk
by sonicsora
Summary: Eddie challenged Lita to a drinking competition, things get derailed by drink seventeen. Not that Eddie or Lita really know how much they've had after a certain point.


Written for Brutalhearts666 on tumblr!

###

She leaned across the table, eyes narrowed. With no showy flourish or real dramatics, Lita settled the empty bottle on the table between them. Her side of the table was already crowded with emptied bottles. "Your move."

"Trust me, I got this." He laughed easily back, trying to continue his bluster that carried him through the last few drinks. He unscrewed the cap on his bottle, flicking the metal cap away before tipping his drink mockingly back at Lita. "Down the hatch."

He readily knocked the drink back, the fact he was this drunk already meant he wasn't exactly feeling it as much. He pulled back from his finished drink with a refreshed, "Ahh." He set the glass bottle down, sliding it across the table towards Lita.

"All on you."

The woman gave a thoughtful noise, casually plucking another bottle from the cooler, managing to uncap it without ruining her bright red nails and took a slow sip. "You're drunk." She observed casually, arching a brow back at the roadie.

"No you're drunk!" He protested in turn, sticking his tongue back out at the blonde. Lita rolled her eyes as she brought the bottle neck back up to her lips. At this point her lipstick was smudged from drink after drink. The red smear was smudged from her lips to the side of her mouth.

Her voice dropped into a mock whisper, "Eddie Riggs is drunk."

"Am not!" Eddie defended sharply back, not sure why he was so offended by this. He was pretty drunk. "I'm real sober."

"Walk a straight line then." She made a lazy motion with her bottle away from the table. Eddie staggered up out of his chair. He jabbed his finger in her direction. "I will!"

Lita finished her beer, leaning back slightly now. Amusement curled across her features as Eddie stamped away from their table. His stomping made a few emptied bottles roll across the grass. "Will you-?"

"I will!" He repeated, whipping around now- only to fall promptly face first onto the ground. After a long pause Lita snorted, trying to cover her mouth with a hand. Eddie just laid there, motionless before he suddenly started squirming.

With far too much force, pushed himself upwards a bit too fast sending himself toppling back in the other direction onto his audible thwack of him hitting the grass broke Lita's attempts stifling her laughter. She sputtered in shock, launching into a full gut laugh. The blonde quaked bodily as she cackled.

Eddie gave an indignant whine, "C'mon! You're- don't make fun of me!" Eddie sounded more like a petulant toddler than a thirty-five year old man laying on the grass. The whining made Lita's laughter even worse.

The half demon gave a very melodramatic groan, "Lita!"

Lita choked on her laughter, sliding out of her chair onto the ground in the least dignified manner humanly possible. "By Ormagoden's blood-" She wheezed, wiping at her eyes with her hand. She slowly started winding down, catching her breath as Eddie sulked on the grass.

Eddie managed to sit up now, squinting at the woman. "You're drunk, you just fell out of your chair!"

"Never said I wasn't." She snorted, her eyeliner and eyeshadow was smeared across her lids towards her cheek at this point. She smirked a little revealing lipstick on her teeth, "I just wanted to see what you'd do if I said you were drunk."

Her words just made him blink before laughing himself now, pointing at the woman. "You- motherfucker."

"Your mother didn't mind it that badly last night."

"You fuckin' wish." He huffed back, "…Who was in the lead?"

"I have no idea." Lita admitted casually, wiping her hands on her jeans. Make up was going to just stain the fabric and Lita did not care. At this point she was too drunk to deal with anything weightier than teasing Eddie. "I win."

That threw Eddie off immensely. "What-?"

"I win." She repeated slowly back, "I am victorious."

"Nu-uh!"

"Yu-huh." She was undeterred by Eddie's response. The blonde managed to get up and make her way over to where Eddie was. With little aplomb she flopped down next to the roadie, laying out in the grass. Eddie gladly settled back in the grass next to her now, smiling a little at Lita scooting closer.

"Uh, nooo way, Lita." He huffed back, shifting where he lay so he could stick his tongue out at the blonde woman.

The two continued arguing over who won, mostly sticking to laying on the grass watching the stars overhead.


End file.
